I read so many articles and posts about stillbirth prevention. Counting kicks saves lives. I understand that this is important, but it still really gets under my skin right now.
Do you know why? Because I counted kicks. I ate an extremely healthy diet. I did every single thing I was supposed to do, and it didn't prevent anything. It didn't give me more control. It didn't save my baby.
The thing is, I feel that it is giving moms-to-be a false sense of security. I can't tell you how many times I have seen a reddit post on pregnancy after loss that shows how relieved a mother is to hear her baby's heartbeat with a doppler when the kicks stop. That doesn't mean anything. They can still die. Hearts stop suddenly sometimes and there is nothing you can do.
This brutal truth really hurts, and causes lifelong trauma, but it is the truth. Does that mean I won't be counting kicks if I decide to have another baby? No, of course not. I want to give my children every chance to live that I possibly can. But will I be less comforted by that heartbeat and those kicks? Oh yeah. Until I have that baby alive in my arms, I will not be comfortable.
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